If there’s one essential rule of modern life, it should be: Never check your phone or tablet in the middle of the night. And since all my nights lately seem to be Dark Nights of the Soul, I should know better. But when I checked my tablet last night at about 3 a.m., during a prolonged bout of sleeplessness, I encountered this good news/bad news situation. I saw that the Kindle/Amazon version of THE NOVICE MASTER had gone live–good. But Amazon had it sub-classified as Erotica—!!! Okay, I know the title could be construed as faintly kinky, light S&M but THERE’S A MONK ON THE COVER! I realized what must have happened is that someone’s digital bots went into overdrive and picked up on the few bits of profanity and explicit language and decided it was light porn, with a religious angle. Well, there’s a new subcategory for you, Amazon: Catholic Pornography!
Now that’s it’s morning, I’m seeing the situation with more humor, but I’m still annoyed by it. Amazon support is claiming they did not provide the classification; and my publisher Pronoun is being completely mum about it. I’ll get to the bottom of it, eventually, but in the meantime, if some readers desperate for sexual titillation decide to pick up the book, they’re going to be very disappointed. They will encounter an older male character who stammers through an explanation of the sexual act using every euphemism in the book; and the few brief sex scenes inside (well into the second half of the book) are more comic and humiliating for the characters involved than actually sexy. Trust me, if I set out to write an actual piece of erotica, it would knock your socks off, and everything else you were wearing, too. This new book won’t quite do that.
But cheers to Lynn Wachtel who provided me with my first Amazon review and a very gracious review at that. Hopefully, most astute readers will realized I’m not peddling porn!